Parents Separated . Org BLOG

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2011-05-06T11:46:00.000+01:00

Cardiff council urges equality for separated parents

2010-10-19T10:29:00.002+01:00

Non-resident parents say some public bodies will not interact with them

A council is to ask all public bodies it deals with not to "discriminate" against parents who do not live with their children.

Cardiff council will now write to all other local authorities in Wales asking them to adopt the same principle.

Non-resident parents claim schools, hospitals and GPs' surgeries will often give information only to parents living with children

The number of single-parent households has risen yearly in Wales since 1991.

In 2007, the Welsh Assembly Government issued guidance to schools on how to deal with separated or divorced parents.

The Time is Right.... For Getting it Right !!! Do you Agree?

2010-09-25T22:40:00.001+01:00

Separating parents forced to attend custody classes so they realise damage to children

(Daily Mirror Report; Sat 25th Sept 2010)

Divorcing parents are being forced to go to custody classes so that they realise the damage their separation inflicts on their children, it was revealed today.

Couples in Surrey, where the scheme is being piloted, have to go to two free evening sessions in the hope they will reconsider their behaviour.

Surrey has become the test county for the programme after district judge Alison Raeside championed it and made it compulsory, according to The Times.

The sessions are not forced on couples where either side could be in any danger and are funded by Cafcass, the children's courts service.

Classes: Parents in Surrey are having custody coaching so that they realise the effect of their separation on their children

Partners will not be sent to the same class and are placed with up to 10 others.

The current family law review could see the Separation Parent Information Programme rolled out across England and Wales.

Early results apparently indicate more than half of parents' change their behaviour because of the classes.

Details of the scheme emerged days after a senior judge warned middle-class parents can damage their children permanently by using them as ammunition in the divorce courts.

Broadside: Sir Nicholas Wall said that in family break-ups parents rarely behave reasonably and intelligent parents are often the worst

Lord Justice Wall, the country's leading family judge, told warring husbands and wives: 'There is nothing worse for most children than for their parents to denigrate each other.'

He said that in family break-ups parents rarely behave reasonably and intelligent parents are often the worst.

'Often the parties are fighting over again the battles of the relationship, and the children are both the battlefield and the ammunition,' he said.

His broadside came in a speech on reforms to the family justice system in which he said it was vital to reduce the adversarial nature of the divorce courts.

He also attacked his fellow judges for allowing some cases to go before as many as ten different judges.

Having one judge sit in all the hearings involving a family is essential to provide consistency, Lord Justice Wall said.

In his speech to the pressure group Families Need Fathers, he said: 'Separating parents who are unable to resolve issues between themselves rarely act reasonably.

'People think that post-separation parenting is easy. In fact, it is exceedingly difficult, and as a rule of thumb my experience is that the more intelligent the parent, the more intractable the dispute.

'Parents often find it difficult to understand that children both love and have a loyalty to both parents. There is nothing worse, for most children, than for their parents to denigrate each other.

'To use the trite phrase, each parent represents 50 per cent of the child's gene pool. If a child's mother makes it clear to the child that his or her father is worthless - and vice versa - the child's sense of self-worth can be irredeemably damaged.

'Parents simply do not realise the damage they do to their children by the battles they wage over them. A child is not a piece of property which can be parcelled up and moved around at will.'

Mr Justice Wall said that it was legitimate to criticise the family courts over the number of judges who become involved in a case.

He said that, while working as an Appeal Court judge, he found 'cases in which as many as nine or ten judges had all dealt with the same case.

'Each had had to read the papers: each had had to make a decision and, inevitably, the decisions are sometimes inconsistent,' he said. 'In short, there is a total lack of judicial continuity.

'For a number of judges all to have to read the same bundle of papers is not only a waste of valuable judicial time: it is inefficient and leads to inconsistency.'

Lord Justice Wall made his speech in the midst of a review into the family courts, which handle parental separation, child custody, fostering, adoption and also 'public' cases concerning children removed from dangerous homes by social workers.

Around 20,000 family break-ups come before the courts every year, and fathers' pressure groups have been increasingly vocal about alleged bias in favour of mothers.

There have been a number of demonstrations against the failure of the courts to act against mothers who shut fathers out of their children's lives.

The Labour government considered tagging mothers to punish those who fail to abide by court orders but the idea was dropped

Grandparents."It's so nice to see these valuable family members acknowledged for what they do."

2010-09-13T14:25:00.004+01:00

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2010/0913/1224278756767.htmlThe Irish Times - Monday, September 13, 2010

Thousands flock to annual grandparents' pilgrimage

People converged on Knock Shrine from all over Ireland for what was billed as the largest grandparents’ pilgrimage in the world.

As the basilica became filled to the doors long before the 3pm ceremonies, one onlooker, Breda Mullen from Cong, Co Mayo, declared: “It’s a sign that the faith is really strong in Ireland contrary to what the media is saying.”

Inside the thronged building where even standing was not an option due to the overflow congregation, Knock parish priest, Msgr Joseph Quinn echoed Ms Mullen’s sentiments in his opening remarks.

Looking around him at the massed ranks of worshippers, Msgr Quinn said: “I only wish that people who write the obituary of the Catholic Church were here today or here during the national novena.”

Keynote speaker was Breda O’Brien, a teacher and Irish Times columnist, who stressed that grandparents have a crucial role in an era when, “massive changes have occurred in family form and family breakdown.”

Quoting 2009 research by the School of Social Work and Social Policy, Trinity College, Ms O’Brien said the total number of people who have experienced marriage breakdown increased from 40,000 to just under 200,000 in the two decades between 1986 and 2006. She continued: “Grandparents are the ones who keep the wheels on the wagon, who provide an anchor for bruised and hurting adult children and grandchildren, and provide a source of support and stability to people whose world has fallen apart.”

Chief celebrant for the Mass which was the centrepoint of the fourth annual National Grandparents’ Pilgrimage was Bishop John McAreavey, Bishop of Dromore.

Among those who performed at the Mass was the former Eurovision winner, Dana; 13-year-old Ireland’s Got Talent winner Chloe Coyle and singer Michael English.

There was a special round of applause from the congregation for the founder of the Catholic Grandparents’ Association, Catherine Wiley who was described by Msgr Quinn as “an apostle for our time.”

Kathleen Madden from Ballyhaunis, Co Mayo, who attended with Katelyn Concannon, one of her 18 grandchildren, said: “I have so much more time for my grandchildren than I had for my own children. It’s lovely, almost like getting a second chance at parenthood”.

http://lawfam.oxfordjournals.org/content/12/1/74.abstract

2010-09-09T14:12:00.000+01:00

Here is the latest factual reading . What do you think?

THE WELFARE OF THE CHILD IN CUSTODY DISPUTES AFTER PARENTAL SEPARATION OR DIVORCE

K.-F. KALTENBORN and
R. LEMPP^*

Abstract

Based on the analysis of sixty evaluation reports of child psychiatrists and psychologists at the Child and Youth Psychiatry Clinic, Eberhard-Karls-University of Tübingen (Germany), for judicial custody decisions, this article describes the personal networks of the eighty-one children involving a total of 222 relationships. The children's preference for father or mother significantly depends (a) on the current residential status of the child with preference for the co-residential parent (p <.01), (b) on the child's gender with preference for the same-sex parent (P <.05), and (c) on the psychological status and parenting capacity of the mother with preference for the father in cases of maternal problems (P <.01). In sixty-two cases the specialists' custody recommendations are based on primary criteria (the children's relationships and residence preferences), and in fourteen cases on secondary criteria (continuity of care, probability of future problems with a new stepmother, etc). For thirty children (37.0 per cent) the reports recommend residence in the father's household, for thirty-nine children (48.1 per cent) in the mother's household, and for seven children (8.6 per cent) with either the grandparents, the stepmother or a foster family. In five cases (6.2 per cent) no recommendations are proposed. Findings of the study are discussed, and suggestions are offered for further research.

2010-09-01T13:01:00.000+01:00

NEWS REPORT: ATTENTION: DO NOT JOIN THE GROUP CURRENTLY ON FACEBOOK WITH THE TITLE ''BECOMING A FATHER OR MOTHER WAS THE GREATEST GIFT OF MY LIFE'' THIS IS A GROUP OF PEDOPHILES WHOSE AIM IS TO ACCESS YOUR PHOTOS... PLEASE COPY AND POST THIS TO YOUR STATUS BEFORE PEOPLE START USING YOUR PICTURES... PLEASE, ALL PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS, BE AWARE. COPY AND POST SO ALL FAMILY AND FRIENDS WILL SEE .....

This came to my attention facebook. Would you ignore it ?

Haunted by the thought of my daughter screaming at me not to go

2010-08-27T13:30:00.000+01:00

Ok folks... Did you read this article in today's paper, I found it to be an accurate account.... What does it say to you ?

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/parenting/im-haunted-by-my-little-ruby-screaming-at-me-not-to-go-2308881.html

Welcome to the Parents Separated Blog

2010-08-27T12:41:00.005+01:00

Ok, This is where your contributions are more than welcome, as the main aim of this blog is to highlight the real life scenarios that exist out there.. Writing down and sharing your experiences can help you further deal with them, as well as getting help from others to provide you with the level of support you need.

Main Site: www.parentsseparated.org (currently under development, but nearly there!)